Fourth 'Pirates of the Caribbean' unsatisfying?

Captains always go down with the ship  even the swishing, mumbling, mascaraed ones.

How else to explain why Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow has remained  helming the serviceable but unsatisfying Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides  when most of his former mates have bailed? Apparently Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Bill Nighy and Stellan Skarsgard all snapped up the last of the lifeboats.

True, there's no question this fourth entry in the seafaring franchise will loot the box office this weekend after it opens nationwide late Thursday night. But it's also likely to leave fans deflated, with little wind in their sails.

Less a sequel than a nearreboot, On Stranger Tides jettisons not only most of the characters and subplots from the original trilogy, but also the digital creatures and gonzo fantasy that grew increasingly crazed under Gore Verbinski's direction.

Instead, in their attempt at a strippeddown sequel, the filmmakers  led by new director Rob Marshall (Chicago)  focus squarely on the reliably rakish Jack and a quest by various factions for the mythological Fountain of Youth.

Back for more  and, aside from Depp and Kevin McNally as Sparrow's first mate, the only leftover from the earlier films  Geoffrey Rush's scheming Barbossa is among those in the hunt for the fountain. Now a privateer, he's sent by King George II (Richard Griffiths) to beat Spanish forces to the ancient treasure.

Caught in the middle, naturally, is Sparrow, shanghaied by his exflame Angelica (Penelope Cruz) and forced to work for the tyrannical Blackbeard (Ian McShane).

Eventually  for reasons too absurd and complex to bother explaining here  their search leads them to mermaids, reimagined in the Piratesverse as gorgeous but fanged predators. The mermaids are a highlight, although the confrontation between Blackbeard's crew and the creatures  think Splash meets The Cove  may be too intense for young children. Frankly, I was more horrified at the superfluous, outofnowhere romance that develops between a captive mermaid (Astrid BergesFrisbey) and an earnest missionary (Sam Claflin).

Sounding congested? It certainly feels that way, despite the supposed streamlining. Say what you will about At World's End, but goofy, grotesque, demented incoherence, I can handle. Plodding exposition, purposeless sword fighting and paintbynumbers plotting? Not so much.

All of this said, On Stranger Tides is nonetheless likeable and benign enough to keep from running aground. For one, Sparrow's clockworkchoreographed escape early on in London is both rousing and risible. And Depp's alterego continues to be a welcome oneofakind creation, even if he's nowhere near as novel as he was in 2003 (and even if the hopedfor heat between him and Cruz never materializes).

As for the sequel's use of 3D, other than the odd sword being jabbed at you, it's inconsequential.

Of course, regardless of how On Stranger Tides is received, it's hard to imagine there won't be more Pirates films.

For the fifth one, Depp has joked they'll just shoot the actors on the theme park ride, going around in circles. Funny  I could swear that's the movie they just made.